User Profile

Not surprisingly this isn't Blank, who never writes bio's, but is actually Hooper, the frankly awesomely handsom cat who's forced to share my living space with Blank, a fact I find barely tolerable because, after a few months of careful training, I've managed to teach him to fill my food bowl on order.

I'm getting pretty bored in the days now though, so have taken to logging on to his assortment of internet accounts and making anonymous derogatory remarks about him, his writing, and his sanitary habits, as well as sending out e-mails in his name stating the same about anyone and everyone he knows. You can tell mine from his because I have a better grasp of grammar (who doesn't?) and a far more impressive vocabulary of disparaging, offensive and plain insulting terms.

Finally, I'd like to state to the all-black moggie who keeps walking through MY backyard, and who I know logs onto the net in his own house regularly:

Your days are numbered, you scurvy, sow's ear of a fleabag. I now have a catflap, and I know how to use it.

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